When the Unexpected, but Expected Happens

Saying goodbye to my Dad

When we first started traveling, I knew I could potentially get “the call.”

None of us truly wish for it… yet, it is part of life.

Strangely enough, it happened when I called my Dad.

Are we ever really prepared to say goodbye?

This picture is from May of 2022. It was the second time in as many months that we thought Dad was not going to make it.

It was tough.

I wanted to reassure him that day that I was with him and loved him immensely.

From all of my experience working with my patients over the years, I knew he could still hear my voice…and that could bring some peace inside of his mind, even as he was experiencing confusion and anxiety. In turn, it also brought a sliver of peace to my heart.

But I wasn’t ready for him to leave…

Lots of tears happened that day. I called our Orthodox Priest, Father Daniel, and asked him to pray. I let all of our family and close friends know what was going on and asked them to pray as well.

He recovered! This wasn’t his time.

I was very grateful for more time with my Dad, even as we were preparing to leave America on our inaugural pilgrimage and transition to a new life overseas.

No Regrets

Life changed a lot for Dad after that. It was a tough transition for everyone.

It’s hard to watch people we love, especially family, endure pain. We want to make things better for them. And yet, we have to let go.

But a life filled with love also requires some pain. Because at some point, we will experience loss. How you choose to live and love makes all the difference in the world.

Knowing we were given more time with Dad, I chose to make sure I spent as much time as possible with him before moving away. For me, this meant visiting him in person once a week. We had beautiful times together sharing stories. Mostly, I would ask a question then sit back and let him talk. He loved to talk…and talk…just ask my siblings.

I learned a lot of things about his life I didn’t know before. Some I was grateful to know, some I could have done without. But, I listened. And I will never regret the time I spent with him.

The Call

We had regularly scheduled times I would call so he knew I would always be in touch no matter where we lived. I would ask how he was doing and he would fill me in on how he felt and if anything new was happening with his health. After all, he was 90. Boy, was I so grateful he still had a fairly clear mind until the end. That was a true blessing.

I got to share travel stories with him. How seeing the world from a fresh perspective changed me in a good way. And how connecting with locals and sharing life with people where we had lived impacted the choices we were making. How easy it was to make lifelong friends all along our path. And how deep the roots of our faith were growing.

When I called on October 13th, I had no idea it would be the last time I heard him say my name. Within 24 hours I knew we needed to get ourselves back.

Because of his quickly declining health, I started calling all seven of our children letting them know Grandpa wasn’t going to make it. Those were tough calls to make, especially to our sons who had all spent time working with Dad on the farm and remodeling a house together.

As I called each of them, I received such an amazing blessing. Every one of them asked, “Mom, how are you doing? I’m sure this is so hard.”

With a heart so filled with gratitude I was able to say, “I have no regrets. I spent a lot of time with him before we left and also when we flew back to visit. We talked regularly on the phone. And I got to plan and be there for his 90th Birthday party. Am I sad? Yes. Will I miss him? No question.”

Though I wasn’t with him when he took his last breath, I have no doubt he knew I was with him in spirit, especially since I had just called him. And he always knew I was praying for him just as I knew he was always praying for me.

Honors

After full military honors, we laid Dad to rest in a beautiful veteran’s cemetery just a couple of hours from our home. He was very proud to have served his country during the Korean War. So much so that he lied about his age to enlist.

I learned more about what honor truly means from watching the details that day. We had already had his funeral three days before. And this was his final wish after his death. His wish was granted with honor.

I love you, Dad! Thank you for loving and supporting me through all of my crazy shenanigans all these years. Thank you for showing me forgiveness.

Thank you for pointing me to Christ even through your struggles.

Now, go sing all those hymns you love!